Despite my early intrigues in not only BDSM and fetishism, but also borderline vanilla fantasies as I recall early would mean the age of 2 I had little desire to explore the visual world of pornography. It is true that I occasionally had fantasies of creating it, starring in it, distributing it all of which were realized for a brief year in time but never in the studio feature sense. Every time I would see deemed pornographic in nature, I would first be disgusted by the blatant display of the human body with little thought as to lighting, concept or artistic integrity that is the human form. Then, after my eyes were drawn back to the image like curiosity to a car crash, I would study the image or images before me, waiting for the arousal that never came. Soon I would grow bored, and occasionally sleepy, exhausted by the tease and denial of something many others come to experience when absorbed in the viewing of naked bodies hovering on the edges of cheap wood prop desks or grinding together at the hips on a hotel bed. As my trial and error methods wore on, I noticed how many of the higher budget features employed actresses who were so tan, bleached and plumbed with silicone, they hardly resembled human bodies. Still, there were a couple diamonds in the rough. Last Tango In Paris more so a steamy rated R classic and Cafe Flesh the first, not the second, which if full of version 1.0 silicone implants from the early 90s where two stables in my scant library of tolerable fantasies. But who can sit through so much conversation and plot when they just need some late night inspiration?
I started looking through the backs of old forgotten video rental stores, and stopping at Luv Boutique on my way through Connecticut. I was on a mission to get something raunchy, yet captivating. “‘Clown Fuckers BIG DICK get on the party bus! get ready to enter the FREAKSHOW,’ seemed like a really good option” said the sales rep who was most likely stoned out of her mind “I wouldn’t recommend the sequel” she commented as my glanced bounced between the two DVD covers. Had I looked at the bottom right hand corner of the case, I would have noticed that there are 4hrs of entertainment contained on this single disk. NO ONE can sustain a plot for 4hrs when it involves sex maybe The Girl With A Dragon Tattoo can, but soap operas definitely don’t count as having unique plot lines.
The first scene was great, low budget and simple not simple to wrap your mind around, but simple as far as easter bunny and male tooth fairy having repetitive dialog. I thought the zombie cave man really brought it together.
The second scene was a little less creative, but equally as imaginative. With a fantasy lover appearing before the girl, soon turning into evil doppelganger robot with blue ooze/lube for brains that he kept smearing the girl with. It was definitely more on the humiliation side of role play.
The third scene was some younger girl with an older balding dude that maybe was supposed to be her dad, an older lady with a strap on and white face paint that was definitely and convincingly supposed to be her mom, and a forth character who appeared while I was fast forwarding. It was less sexy than it was disturbing.
After this last insestual <a link to what I found when I googled the word “insestual” because Chrome dictionary insists it is spelled incorrectly scene, the next 3hrs of fornication turned into 8 vignettes, all following the same layout : intro by a midwest gal in a bikini stating her name and parting her ass cheeks, oral, vaginal, anal, facial. I forward through all of them, figured I might have missed some strange verbal sentiments and spot checked the scenes front to back once again. Despite my totally sleepy and misanthropic state, I began to relate to these amateurs with bad skin, piles of makeup, small breasts and shapely figues. In them, I saw my middle school self, unconfident, shy, and excited to have really boring sex. I wish I had given porn a shot back then. To know that underneath the clothes and attitude we all look quite similar, would have given me great confidence back then. I wish the government wouldn’t prohibit our basic privilege to know we are all the same.
Exercise of the week: make a porn, give it to a friend. Just kidding.
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This week’s column was brought to you by:
That kabocha stuff – passionfruit flavor – mixed with OJ and some orange flavored seltzer.
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Curious Wednesday is a weekly column written and driven by the personality of Ms. Marquise discussing the insides of her head in relation to things around her. New topics can be found on the Bushwick Daily every Wednesday, while you can find her productions listed on False Aristocracy.