gif source: Tumblr

Everyone, at one time or another, has been in that unfortunate position: you really want to lay some hot hippie-dippie health-conscious culinary cowboy, but you’re afraid you’ll blow your chances when you reveal that you consider Fourth Meal a legitimate food group. Well, don’t stock up on tofurky just yet. Instead, take your impending sexual conquest on a date at one of Bushwick’s many fine vegan and vegetarian friendly eateries. Here’s three that will satisfy even the most true-blue-beef-freak’s appetite!

Norbert’s Pizza (photo by James Ryder for

#1 Norbert’s

Pizza is a longtime staple of the barely employed and the drunk and the lost and the hurried. Cheesy, saucy, fatty, greasy—it just doesn’t usually jive with the vegan diet. Even if there’s no pepperoni on it, you’ve still got to contend with a face full of drippy cheese. And if you’re constantly mediating the battle between your tastebuds and your lower gut, we both know whose side that cheese is on. Enter…daiya! Where can you buy a three dollar slice of dairy-less cheese pizza that will make your mouth water? Norbert’s, yo.

Norbert’s can be found at 1215 Myrtle Ave. Get a whole vegan pie for only $22.

#2 Bunna Café Pop Up

Back in the good old days, when men wore kilts and women still got brazilians, human beings were hunters and gatherers. We had to be smart and fit enough to chase down anything we wanted to eat. Then we tried farming (big mistake) for a while. Nowadays, we can mostly just sit down in restaurants and have weary waitstaff carry our food to us. Essentially, life has reached such an epitome of ease and comfort and convenience that we’ve had to artificially introduce difficulty to feel satisfaction. Enter… the pop up shop! Where can you get inexpensive, crazy delicious, vegan Ethiopian food? Well, don’t ask me. Check their Twitter! But when you find ‘em, don’t skimp out on the honey cocktails and Ethiopian Meta beer.

Just kidding, Bunna has a super reliable schedule and can be found at Mama Joy’s (1084 Flushing Ave) Tuesdays through Fridays, 11 AM to 4 PM.

#3 Northeast Kingdom

For a little while in the late 1980’s, farmers were replaced by robots who had sickles for hands, and cows were actually just smelly old oil barrels filled with a white powder that got kind of soupy when you added water. Some people wanted to maintain the illusion of the Great American Farmland, but there was too much corn in the way for that. But it turns out, robots sweat pesticides and barrel beef just doesn’t have the same je ne sais pas as meat-beef. And there’s been a little rural exodus lately, putting all the more distance between an actual farm (few and far between anyway) and the urban table. Enter…the hyphen! Where can you get unbeatable farm-to-table dishes that are sure to impress the strictest vegans and the heartiest meat eaters? Northeast Kingdom, a neighborhood classic, where you can eat actual autumn olive berries and crab apple and for goodness’ sake just look at that mushroom.

Northeast Kingdom can be found at 18 Wyckoff Ave and is named after the northeast corner of Vermont.