Good morning, dear Bushwick lady! I would like to send you a warm welcome and some love from our regular radio cooking session. It is June 1959 in Brooklyn, your husband is at work, and your kid presumably stopped shrieking for a sweet moment. Lean comfortably back in your chair, I hope your feet are resting on a couch too, yes, that’s nice. Lit up your cigarette, while it’s still believed it’s good for you, take a deep breath, exhale slowly… yes, nice smoke circles, and, get ready, because today we’re cooking toxic candy sculptures, with our one and only, the charming Ben Godward!
Toxic candy sculptures are great for you and your child! After consumption of the candy sculptures, your skin will be shiny, your hands will be smooth, and your child will outshine the neighbor’s kid for sure! So don’t hesitate and cook with Ben Godward today!
You will need the following tools:
– a mixing spoon
– a plastic cup
– a bucket
– an empty beer can
Please make sure you have the following ingredients:
– Rigid Urethane Foam
– Pigments of various colors
– Resin for glazing
Now you’re ready to start. First, put on your gloves. Ben adds instantly an amusing story from his own toxic candy sculpture practice, how he once forgot to put on the gloves and his hands ended up covered in pink warm foam. He had to wait until the foam got dry and peel it off after.
Carefully place the plastic cup on the floor. What? Your baby just woke up and is crawling towards the bucket of rigid urethane foam? Quick, before your baby eats all of it, pour some into the plastic cup. Babies love urethane foam in the liquid state and it’s good for them, but remember, safe some urethane for later too!
Add some colorful splashy pigment into the cup….
Add some more foam…
Once the cup is full, stir everything well…
Observe how the said toxic mixture grows in the plastic cup and enjoy its sudden warmth. Your baby is clapping of joy? I know… They always do…
By now the mixture should have changed into a smooth foam of flashy hot pink color. Way better than mother nature could ever think of, right? Now, apply the foam onto a prepared tower of a bucket and a beer can.
Beautiful, isn’t it?
Well, but we’re not quite finished yet! It wouldn’t be a proper toxic candy sculpture without some hot pink glazing. Apply some Resin for pure perfection…
And now you only have to wait until the foam dries up. And that’s not a very long time thanks to its friendly chemical formula! Win win situation for everybody!
Once the toxic candy sculpture dries up, consume it quickly and in large doses together with your entire family!
I hope you enjoyed cooking with our master chef Ben Godward!
…oh, and did I mention your condo.. is ugly?
