Cider Feast Comes to Williamsburg, this Weekend

To minds colored by the dyes of Western Civilization and its teachifying Judeo-Christian myths, the crunchy, tart apple evokes both a state of innocence and its loss. For a time, the fruit and the bible’s most famous couple were said to have coexisted in Eden, until the seductive exhortations of the Serpent proved too persuasive.

Now, as a bartender, I can attest to the fact that people need no prompting from strangers – sibilant and armless or otherwise – to indulge their desires. As it happens, my place of employment does a good trade in hard apple cider. If eating an apple once incited a divine ire hot enough to prompt expulsion from paradise, then cracking open a can of, say, New York’s Graft Cider – whose 12 ounces must represent the picking and processing of at least a quarter bushel or so (don’t quote me) –  should by extension prompt the End Times.