June Cleaver ain’t got nothin’ on this trashy-classy dress. AMIRITE??

So in this FIRST EVER edition of Urban Outfitters or Jimmy Jazz?, we’re gonna tackle this spring’s current fashion, and just how cheap we can get it from my absolute favorite Knickerbocker and Broadway chain store, Rainbow. And while we explore it, I know y’all are going to forgive my cheesy smile and otherwise ridiculous faces in these photos cause you know modeling in any capacity is hard, especially when you’re already an awkward human being who feels weird about life in general, and then on top of it my boyfriend took these photos of me at 9AM after an altercation with some dudes in a Frito-Lay shipment truck who thought hootin’ and hollerin’ was a good idea. So yeah, shit was real strange that morning, before yours truly even had her coffee. But enough with the disclaimers, yo. Let’s do this!

Alright ladies, springtime’s a-comin’. You know you felt it last Saturday when all you jumped the gun, layering tights with shorts a little prematurely just cause it was 50 degrees out. Yeeepp. I bet you later regretted the choices you made when the wind blew straight through the holes in your stockings on your way home from the L train. (I speak for myself, here.) And if you’re anything like me, you’re dying for your spring look NOW but just aren’t willing to blow the bank on new threads when you know rent is once more right around the corner. Laaaamme.

It’s true. At this stage in life I won’t go anywhere near a sale at Rag & Bone or Marc by Marc Jacobs, even if it’s Marc by Mark-it-up by Marquee Jacobs for Target. No no no no no. I won’t even enter a hip lower-grade version of the high-class places that are directly marketed towards me like Urban Outfitters, H&M or Top Shop because a decent in-vogue dress at those joints is still running some odd $60, which is way too much for something that’s not an amazing meal with the gals or savings towards a flight somewhere with palm trees. Y’all can keep your bourgeois names, diffusion lines & clearances to yourselves as long as Mandee, Strawberry and Expo 2000 are around, where the most expensive thing is, like, $29.99.

So, as proven by Emanuel Ungaro’s recent Fashion Week show and Marie Claire mags all over every doctor’s office in Midtown, polka dots will soon (and always!) be our BFFs. While it’s true that the Ungaro show is for Fall/Winter, I HAVE been seeing polka-dots every freakin’ where I go, like this is a 1950’s Beaver-Cleaver revival or something. And if you’ve missed the bustle-waist bodycon dress look that everyone from Kim Kardashian to the local hairdresser has been rocking for the past two years, now’s your chance to kill two birds with one price tag. $19.99

Don’t mind me, just fluffin my hair. Oh waddup MTA??

Because the skull print will never (ever!) die thanks to 2006 & the year of Luella Bartley, here’s the obligatory top with some skeleton heads on it – so subtle you can barely see them embedded within the Tiffany green fabric. This shirt is also in season given its bright colors, and probably the only thing I’ve included in this post that can actually be worn to both work and a pre-Easter Brunch at Cafe Ghia or Mazelle. But, more importantly, work…where, ya know, they pay me money to do stuff. $12.99

Gettin my Lana on at 9 a.m. in Beat-nick.

Do I adore Lana Del Rey’s all-American style? Why, yes I do! Although Lana Del Rey is rich, famous and has probably never been to Bushwick or East Williamsburg (or whichever title makes me feel better about my life that moment), I can be just as U.S.A.-dreamy as her with this white and blue sheer top that comes in both stripes and, once again, POLKA DOT PANELING. After spring, I plan on recycling this sucker for the good ol’ 4th, where I can match said ensemble over a not-so-subtle red bikini top. All for the random price of $16.97.

Urban Outfitters or Jimmy Jazz, Rainbow

Soon enough, it will once again be all about loud flower prints over black. Learn to bring out a wearable look in your otherwise Versace-gold-crusted Showgirls heart. (Elizabeth Berkley <3 u 4evr). This tie-top goes perfect with the micro mini for the cruise I’m gonna pretend I’m on, when in reality I’ll be at some rooftop loft party, allowing a drunken stranger to banter about some book I should really read while I sigh deeply, look out onto the skyline and internally remind myself that I need to pick up more Psssst dry shampoo. But if that all sounds depressing and weird to you (and not just like my typical Tuesday night), AND you’re upset you’re not even gonna make it as far as Florida this year, y’all can at least compromise by taking a weekend trip to Atlantic city and rock this ish fabulously on the boardwalk. You go girl! skirt $7.99, top $12.99

We can all thank my BF for the J-Lo butt shot on the right.

Flower prints over black again! Also, these leggings are really flippin’ comfortable. L.O.V.E. $12.99

Urban Outfitters or Jimmy Jazz, Rainbow Dress

Not sure about the high-low dress that made itself known on every set of legs last year? I’m not either. I kind of love it, but still how random is this look and who the hell decided it would be a thing? (Like, why longer in the back? Why not in the front? Or the side? I need to know!) Either way, Rainbow has an assortment of these trendy jersey dresses that come in different colors to suit your complexion. They’re also mega comfy and super cheap. Personally, I don’t mind buying a flippant trend as long as I can be lazy in it around the house a.k.a. tiny ass apartment later, and it only cost me $16.99.

Well that’s it everyone. Check out Rainbow and get your “It Girl” (whatever that means) looks for less than less…

Remember to revisit Bushwick Daily for more Urban Outfitters or Jimmy Jazz? to get your gangsta-fab meets hipster-fad fix. Peace out, squirrel scout.

Bushwick Locations:

416 Knickerbocker Avenue

Brooklyn, NY 11237

773 Broadway

Brooklyn, NY 11206

1295 Broadway

Brooklyn, NY 11221

Williamsburg Locations:

685 Grand Street

Brooklyn, NY 11211

302 Broadway

Brooklyn, NY 11211