I keep hoping that I will find a man worth trusting. But let’s face it: many of us have never been given reason to trust men. For those of us who date them, it often feels like we’re playing a losing game. Men have all the power whether we want them to or not. Who holds the power, the stakes, and calls the shots owns the hierarchy of hurt. Repeat: whoever has the power to hurt is the one in power.

The hickey, while a sign of intimacy and of ownership, is not necessarily a sign of love. Love is something we could debate about all day. We all want it in some form or another. Whether we want it from our romantic partners is another story. Plenty of folks just want something physical while they sort their life out. OKCupid defines romantic partner as someone to go out with or someone to come home to. Think, Mr. Hickey. 

Although who goes to who is another part of the power dynamics, especially in Brooklyn.