“Though dreams can be deceiving, like faces are to hearts, they serve for sweet relieving, when fantasy and reality lie too far apart.”
Fiona Apple’s lyrics rang in my ears on so many mornings when waking, it became a sort of intro anthem to my morning rituals, setting off the reset of the day in a comfortable fog of yearning to be back in my other worlds where I live out my tumultuous and often confusing dreams.
I have tried to understand where my dreams lie; if they are truly lucid, or if they if I just have dream control. As it seems my dream self acts within the dream world as I act within mine – with total understand and comprehension that nothing is as it seems and that reality is fluid, forever changing like layers of marbled pigments suspended between water and oil, shifting within a million currents.
In the last year, I have gone so far as to put on makeup in a kiosk mirror at an outdoor beauty pageant, pick the lint off the shoulder of my anonymous lover, convince club kid party scenesters I am relevant via my fat friend who is Marilyn Manson or 19 year old Rick Owens. But the worst is when everything is going swimingly in the dream, and I wake up to pee or take a phone call, go back to sleep and bring back a piece of waking rationality or consciousness. All of a sudden, I have ethical dilemas to face and emotional heralds to leap – logistics just don’t line up anymore. I struggle on for an hour or two, certain I can fix this sudden turn in events, but I never can. I wake up just a touch frustrated, knowing I had let a litteral dream slip right through my fingers. I stagger through reality thinking on how I can secure it next time, but in real life. After all, I just had it close enough to touch, smell and taste.
Lucid dreaming, the ultimate tease.
[ In my searches for answer I found THESE cute tests for dream control. Enjoy ]
Unfortunately Little Skips is closed today for renovations so I took a walk down Broadway to Athos cafe, a sweet little french place that serves espresso and has Nutella behind the counter, SAY NO MORE. Sold.
Curious Wednesday is a weekly column written and driven by the personality of Ms. Marquise discussing the insides of her head in relation to things around her. New topics can be found on the Bushwick Daily every Wednesday, while you can find her productions listed on False Aristocracy.