If you ever wonder, how it is that you can make yourself stand out from the crowd, I can tell you that it’s by thinking big.

Leigh Bowery wouldn’t leave his apartment without at least a pair of stilettos on, that would clock him in at 7feet tall. Other times he would conceal those same heels in a pair of sneakers to maintain the height masochism and appearance of a giant fucking man. To top it off, he would also dress in latex, masks, latex masks, and British police hats which would rest on the top of his head. By now, you must be thinking, “I started to read this article because I thought ‘Size Queen’ referred to porn, or was going to help me get noticed,” well… yes, and no.

See, as great as Leigh was, I very much doubt he would have gotten any attention if he wasn’t a 300lb giant. Imagine a brightly dressed man with a mask on adorned with inflatables, piercings and paint standing 5 and a half feet tall, weighing 150lb. He would look more like a poorly made up clown than the world’s most influential club kid.

Ok, so if we make a list of what to do, and then cross out all the things that short people should not do because they will look like a clown, we get HATS.

There is a reason I have a full wall of hats I’m a CAT lady, not a HAT lady, so don’t get it twisted. While it is true that you will get noticed with more ease with a 6″ boost to your gams, if you are not willing to commit to the daily pain of a strippers life and a shortened achilles tendon you might want to consider placing something outstanding atop your head. Uniform hats usually get as much attention as wide brim sun hats, worn at night. If that’s a little too ironic or goth, I suggest trying a Sunday church hat. My old male roommate as crazy as he was looked dashing with a small white box sunday church hat poised on the side of his head, and get this: he was not a gender bender. Which brings me to my next point: clothes are not gender sensitive, mix it up. More on this topic next week, stay tuned.

Today’s column was written: with a cat by my side, and not coffee, yet.

Curious Wednesday is a weekly column written and driven by the personality of Ms. Marquise discussing the insides of her head in relation to things around her. New topics can be found on the Bushwick Daily every Wednesday, while you can find her productions listed on False Aristocracy.