If you’ve been feeling like SnapChat has been letting you down lately, reader, this Bushwick Reading List is for you.

Real Estate Porn – Virtually (2013 is the Year of the Selfie)

The New York Post ran a story earlier this week about a former Nooklyn employee whose fall from grace at the boutique real estate agency may or may not have involved nudie pix in the company DropBox – and nudes or or no nudes, it definitely involves a lawsuit. Ah, 2013, the illustrious year of the selfie. It seems like this is hardly something to bat an eyelash at in the world of NYC real estate, though: at least the offending images didn’t make their way into a public listing. Forgive us if you come across us sniggering over today’s Real Estate Porn headline on DNAinfo, given the events of the week. Pro tip: check to see which accounts you’re logged into before you get sexy with any erstwhile Carlos Dangers (or whatever you’re into – it took us a minute this weekend to decide whether the Nooklyn Instagram account was getting some personal use this weekend when it featured some pix from a Slayer concert), and if you’re looking for an opportunity to break into real estate, it seems like they, or someone like them, might be hiring on Craigslist. But maybe don’t include a friendly-looking picture of yourself in your application, if you decide to go for it.

Keep Your Pants On, Gentlemen…

CBSlocal reports that in East Williamsburg, police are on the lookout for an individual who exposed himself to a female attendant at the laundromat at 204 Bushwick Avenue, between Meserole and Scholes. Security camera footage of the guy suggests that it wasn’t just a matter of being out of clean underwear on laundry day, so if you see a man in a purple hat with his pants undone near the Montrose stop, feel free to drop the 83rd precinct a line. Click through here for our favorite tweeted pun about the affair.

We Want to Buy Your House

If the prospect of flashers both on the street and in the Bushwick etherweb haven’t put you off the neighborhood yet and you’re thinking about settling down here for the long haul, Curbed has just the place for you: yesterday they featured a townhouse at 34 Linden street, off the Gates stop on the J, which can be yours for the modest price of $825,000 – that’s right, folks, less than a million dollars for your very own outer-borough townhouse! We think it looks cute, but we’re not ready to spring for it for the new Bushwick Daily headquarters just yet. If you want it, you better act fast, or one of the parties featured on We Want To Buy Your House, a sub-project of the Wyckoff Heights Blog, might get to it first. Then again, maybe buying this liquor store for $225 would be a better investment. Who knows.

So keep your pants on – and happy house-hunting!