Katarina Hybenova

Words

@kamelka

Jacque Medina

Inforgraphic

@LivinMedinaLoca

Normally I’d say: Happy Valentine’s Day, Bushwick. But since an overwhelming 40 percent of you don’t seem to give a damn, I stand corrected to say: Happy totally ordinary Tuesday, to all of you, sexy people!

At Bushwick Daily we revere each chance to ask you, dear readers, many intimate (and sometimes not so intimate) questions. That’s why this past Friday we asked you to fill out a survey of 15 questions mapping your habits when it comes to love, sex, and dating.

To our joy, 305 of you responded up to this moment, and provided us with many a valuable insight into what may sometimes seem like a jungle of non-committal sex and wild bathroom hook-ups. (Yes, 28 percent of you claim to have had sex in a bathroom of a Bushwick bar or restaurant. Somebody even shared: “I fucked my friend in the bathroom at Bossa Nova Civic Club. It was dirty and gross and I would definitely do it again.”)

Below you will find an infographic prepared by our wonderful Jacque Medina. Feel free to examine it and ponder the meaning of data in your love life. In this article, I focus on the dating stories you so abundantly shared with us.

It seems that respondents did not lean to any single gender—boys and girls are almost at 50:50, while the non-binary peeps represent 3 percent.

Bushwick is a special place as it fees like the Ellis Island for millennials coming up from the South after college. Great scene for dating.

– a survey respondent

Seventy percent of you fall into the age group of 25 to 34 years of age, which explains the great popularity of our essay on turning 30 in Bushwick.

Note that 49 percent of all of you, beautiful Bushwick creatures, are single and ready to mingle. Thirty five percent are in relationships, while only 6 percent are married, which defies what one of you noted in the survey: “Bushwick either hooks up or gets married, never an in between.” See? Thank god we did this survey!

Over 70 percent of Bushwick’s lovelorn population identifies as straight, but 14 percent likes to dip their toes into both ponds and says they’re bi. One reader summed it up well: “You can never assume someone’s orientation or whether they are monogamous or poly. So I just treat any person I’m interested in the same regardless of whether they seem straight or single.”

However gay or bi we are, some people in Bushwick still freak when they see two women kissing, as one of you pointed out: “My date and I were making out on the corner and a car screeched to a halt just to watch…”

What freaked me personally out is that people of Bushwick largely rely on dating apps to meet someone. Almost 50 percent would rather pull out a phone than natural charm in an IRL environment.

Actually somebody even said that they’ve never been on a date that wasn’t arranged by a dating app. Really? Call me old-fashioned, but sometimes you just might end up on a date like this: “We went to Momo’s where he under-tipped so I put an $5 down since we went Dutch, and he picked it up and pocketed it. I said goodnight and went to go visit my friend at her job around the corner […] [Two] hours after the date ended, I get on the subway platform and he is passed on the floor on the opposite side. I hid in the stairwell until the train came, because I didn’t want him waking up and seeing me.”

Maybe don’t treat your local bar as an endless pond of potential hook-ups…

The level of commitment one may expect from dating in Bushwick is questionable, as one of you puts it: “If you’re looking for something long term, Bushwick is probably the last place on the planet where you should look.” But then again 35 percent are in relationships, so maybe it all depends on what you’re looking for.

Somebody noted that, “Bushwick is a special place as it fees like the Ellis Island for millennials coming up from the South after college. Great scene for dating.” This may be dope, just remember that it also means a greater possibility of running into your past lovers, and that any of your possible crimes against love won’t be so easily forgotten.

Just think about Bushwick Open Studios, the annual festival of awkward encounters: “On more than one occasion, I’ve hooked up with someone, slept together, and not followed up [my bad], then ran into them for the next time at their open studio, during Bushwick Open Studios, with a current date in tow. I’m generally a talker, so it’s probably psychotic to my date when I’m like ‘this work is boring’ for no reason, and I’m just trying to bolt out of some studio without talking or making eye contact with the artist.”

I had sex in the back aisle at Hana late one night and slipped on an avocado that had fallen on the floor–made some guacamole!

– a survey respondent

Also maybe don’t treat your local bar as an endless pond of hook-ups: “I’ve hooked up with at least 4 bartenders from the same bar. Hard to remember how many exactly…” Somebody else shared: “I spent a whole year just sleeping with different neighbors from my loft building. Four of them to be precise.” How convenient!

But sometimes coincidence decides to punish you: “I had been on a few dates with a guy, but hadn’t replied to his messages recently. I was at brunch and the hostess brought him over to my table by accident. Turns out he was there to meet another girl.”

Let’s ponder all the strange places where Bushwick likes to have sex, like a grocery store: “Had sex in the back aisle at Hana late one nite and slipped on an avocado that fallen on the floor–made some guacamole!”

I have slept with a lot of Manhattan men, but Bushwick men have better beards anyway, and what a girl wouldn’t want that extra fluff around her vagina.

– a survey respondent

Oh, and a lot happens in a Bushwick warehouse: “I went down on my husband in a dark corner of a warehouse party in Bushwick and he fingered me. It was wicked hot and amazing. The only way it was really possible was that it was an illegally dark warehouse party. So Bushwick.” And you thought that married life was boring.

Or: “Trying to fuck in the alley at 9 p.m. near a warehouse only to have to pull up your pants as a homeless man comes running at you.”

While some of you say you spend the first 20 minutes of the date wondering if your date has showered in the past two days, other enjoy the feeling of a typical Bushwick bushy beard on their intimate parts:

“Dating in Bushwick is the shit but I can’t logically explain why. There is an ease of tension knowing the man inside your vagina appreciates and understands the authenticity and grit of Bushwick. Bushwick men seem to be more down to earth, artistic, less pretentious, and easy going compared to Manhattan men, and I have slept with a lot of Manhattan men. Bushwick men have better beards anyway, and what girl wouldn’t want that extra fluff around her vagina. It makes a cozy landing pad. One more thing, Bushwick daily is also the shit. I love this publication, keep up with the amazing content. Cheers to this survey, Bushwick Daily, and Bushwick men. <3”

And we say cheers to you, Bushwick, and have a great time hooking up, not only today but throughout the year!

Cover image: SeongJun Hong/Flick in Creative Commons License.