Maybe stay in on Saturday and travel by bike on Sunday.

Who needs a mantra when you can just repeat “please allow additional travel time” while kicking stuff as you text your friends, family and boss telling them you’re going to be late to every single goddamn thing you have planned for this weekend?

For the next two days, the J, M and L trains will all be subject to service changes that will drag out attempts to get around on the three lines. Specifically, there will only be express service between Marcy Ave. and Myrtle Ave and the M will be running on a reduced schedule all weekend, which the L will also do on Sunday.

With gross, possibly even snowy, weather in the forecast for Saturday, maybe plan on staying in that day, if your schedule allows. Sunday should be warmer and less horrible, so cycling around to run your errands is probably a better option than relying on the subway.

But maybe Bushwick needs a break from trains anyway. This past week was a rough one for the neighborhood’s commuters: a Monday morning track fire screwed over L train riders on their way into work and two unrelated incidents on Tuesday messed up M train service in the morning (that instant karma situation) and L train service in the evening (the Montrose Ave fatality).

Does all of that combined with the impending long term M and L shutdown make you want to check and see if you might be eligible for an auto loan? No, because you’re a true blue New Yorker who doesn’t need a car?

That’s what we thought.