A middle school friend once quoted most likely something her older sister once said, “moving is only second in stress, to childbirth.”

I never understood that statement to be true, however at this moment in time, it find that comparison to be particularly valid. Allow me to elaborate on my personal experience of the last 2 weeks; moving is like dating – minus the sexy time. Like… dating because you are old, lonely and want to have babies, right now. Not fun dating because you want to experiment with multiple partners. Even my roommate, who too is looking to acquire a new place a residences, confronted our first housing mistress by telling her it felt like he was on a blind date all of a sudden, to which she replied that it felt more like speed dating to her. [Luckily neither my roommate, nor I have experience enough to confirm or deny her opinion].

Every time I find a seemingly perfect location online and inquire, I find out it’s unavailable. Just when I think I think I have found a perfect location, it’s much too distant. When you think you have found something reasonable, a gem in the rough, you find out it’s cheap for a reason. The five floor walk ups, the half mile hike to the subway, the perfect pair of floor that’s just too deep in the ghetto, the second bedroom that’s just a glorified closet. Is this a good analogy for why gals go back to their abusive boyfriends? I never thought I would say 8.5 of these 9 words in the same sentence, but: I just want to settle down with someplace nice. Is this old abusive, cheap, gorgeous, bastard of a home really all that bad? All I have to do is think of the heating bill [that’s right folks, I am forced to pay my own heat] and I become re-inspired to hit the field again; to pick up the old shovel and start digging through all the bullshit once again, hoping this time I don’t get stood-up, double crossed or in a fight with a hasid.


This column has been brought to you by: Detox Yogi tea and a lemon sugar cookie, both from Mr. Kiwi, which I will miss much if I must leave the neighborhood.


Curious Wednesday is a weekly column written and driven by the personality of Ms. Marquise discussing the insides of her head in relation to things around her. New topics can be found on the Bushwick Daily every Wednesday, while you can find her productions listed on False Aristocracy.