Dear Margot,
I met my boyfriend six months ago and I’m crazy about him but last week he told me that every once in a while he likes to get a BJ from a guy. Now he says he’s bisexual. I’m angry that he waited so long to tell me. I feel like he waited until I was in love with him. Is there such a thing as bisexuality or is he really, as all my friends are telling me, on the way to gay?
– Girlfriend Walking
Dear Girlfriend,
Does bisexuality exist? Is water wet? Do gay men like dick? Okay that last one is confusing the issue, but I do find it hard to believe that people are still asking this question. Bisexuality is not the Loch Ness Monster of sexual orientation, a mythical creature whose sighting always turns out to be a garden-variety homosexual. Bisexuality exists in its own right.
What’s unfortunate here is that your boyfriend chose to put a label on his sexuality potentially ruining something with you that was going great. He could have simply said that sometimes he feels attracted to men but he loves and adores you and wants to bang the shit out of you on a regular basis. That probably would have been fine. It seems to me that the word “bisexual” put a wedge between the two of you.
If it makes you feel any better I’ve received quite a few questions from women on the topic: Is my bisexual partner really gay? Sexual orientation is more complex than gay, straight, bi and transgender. People want clear definitions for the sake of their own security within the relationship, but that kind of clarity is an illusion. Sexuality exists on a continuum and sex isn’t always about sex. It’s often about where we are in life and whom we happen to love. I think people can be very open to change given the right set of circumstance. Especially, according to my inbox, people in Bushwick.
Dear Margot,
My live in boyfriend has a medical condition that requires him to take frequent enemas. I’ve noticed he gets hard every time he gets enema’d. I need to know if this is normal?
– Water world
Dear world,
What’s normal? There are people out there who get turned on by chickens. So, yeah I’d have to say there are probably a good number of folks who like being enema’d as you call it. It probably has something to do with the feeling of anal fullness or pressure on the prostate, which, FYI, most guys love. Maybe your boyfriend was given an enema somewhere around puberty and has good memories. Whatever the case, don’t be such a nozzle. Be glad that his kink keeps him happy and healthy. How many people can say that!?