Hey! I’m Niki Davis, a consent and sexuality educator and Bushwick Daily’s bedroom coach. Every other Humpday, I’ll answer your sex and relationship questions.
Q: Hi there! I am 16 and in a pretty new relationship. As a girl who has had sex before, I have trouble knowing if I have orgasmed. It is easy and simple to make my boyfriend orgasm, and I am certainly enjoying what I’m doing with him, but I never seem to climax the way people do in movies or books. How do I know if I have orgasmed?
A: Female orgasms are elusive as fuck. I asked a lot of people with vaginas if they were ever unsure if they orgasmed and overwhelmingly, they said yes! So, you are definitely not alone. Some ladies were unsure if they were orgasming when they were first sexually active, but with time and experimentation they eventually had an orgasm, and realized that they previously were not. I also spoke to several ladies in their 20s and early 30s, who have been in a number of relationships, who were also unsure if they were experiencing orgasms. Let’s deconstruct this a bit.
