Those who know me can hopefully attest to the fact that I will do something if you can prove to me, that I want to do it. In fact, I think the world at large functions based on this principle of persuasion. Yesterday I, as well as a number of my professional colleagues received an email offer from a young man, to consume a significant, but small portion of his flesh. My initial response was, “What?”, he was using archaic terms to describe his disposition, I simply did not undersand what he was asking for. Due to this, my second response was, “You better call me right now, because I am not wasting another minute of my time looking up these terms!”, which I was actually doing immediately after sending my response. Unfortunately, my web browsing was simultaneous with his email checking, and my phone rang the second my eyes hit the sentence containing the words “long pig” in
wikipedia’s entry on cannibalism
.
I picked up my mystery call, hoping against hope, but knowing, that the man on the other end of the proverbial line, would not be the one who wanted to be eaten. My hope and myths of tightly crossed fingers fell short – it was him.
My general rule for phone calls is it must be under 3 minutes, or the client is clearly taking advantage of my time. However, due to this inexplicable fantasy, and my endless quest for knowledge and proof of freudian psychological theories, this phone call ended one long hour later, with me laughing – and stupefied. He had answers to questions I had no time to pose, which with him being a lawyer, mostly consisted of a legal approach to the situation which can only be categorized as consensual, and non-fatal.
The outcome was for me to meet with him, weekly, for about a year, in order to further explore his quest – to be eaten. These meetings, and my time would reluctantly be compensated as to not feel cheated if in 4 months or so I found him distasteful pun intended; this I explained using the argument: “Who wants to eat a jerk?” I surprised myself at having such sound points to my debate, as juvenile and amateur as they must have sounded to a legal professional who had written his senior undergrad thesis on his particular fantasy being a covert, worldwide practice news to me! Our first meeting was arranged for tomorrow today in reality, but true to his values – and my promise – where monetary compensation is considered secondary to our mutual goal, I decided to forgo what would would have been a paid hour of my time spent with him, in favor of yoga – which I thought would bring some balance to my recent choices in occupation. Our first meeting is pending to be rescheduled, and so is the outcome. SUSPENSE and maybe some terror.
Stay tuned.
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Curious Wednesday is a weekly column written and driven by the personality of Ms. Marquise discussing the insides of her head in relation to things around her. New topics can be found on the Bushwick Daily every Wednesday, while you can find her productions listed on False Aristocracy.