Aiming to foster real life connections, Ridgewood’s Tiny Art Supply will be hosting its speed dating events at Willows, starting this month. Vanessa America, who runs Tiny Art, says she hopes to bring neighbors from Ridgewood and Bushwick together in hosting both “Straight(‘-ish’)” singles nights as well as queer nights for “Girls, Gays & Non Binary Baes.”
“We want to keep it within two miles of the venue,” says America. “I mean I won’t be checking utility bills or anything, but it was important to me that everyone was local and from the neighborhood.”
I caught up with America as she was putting the final touches on an event last month, when it was formerly hosted at Cassette, a different Ridgewood bar that recently had to change its name from “Sundown” after discovering that the name “has vile connotations.” At the entrance, a check-in table; in the back, a PowerPoint filled with icebreakers and, perfectly placed in the middle of the tables, a zodiac tome titled “The Secret Language of Birthdays,” for any participants grasping for conversation starters.
“I wanted to practice on the straights first,” America jokes, in reference to the “Straight(‘ish’)” event held a week prior. “You’re always going to be editing and tweaking putting on events like this, but you just have to do it. Get it booked and figure it out.”
America, who, in a past lives, worked as a professional matchmaker in Manhattan, says that “singles nights” are a perfect complement to the other community-building events she’s used her small art supply store to host.
“It’s all about local. It’s all about Ridgewood. When I moved here 15 years ago, there was just a Facebook group called ‘Ridgewood Social,’ but still we used it to host events and meet our neighbors.”
The days of “Ridgewood Social” may be long gone, but America, nonetheless, spoke about her long-term home with a pride that didn’t harbor a bite of nostalgia.
For the last three years, her store on Catalpa Avenue, where it took the place of a closed Peruvian ice cream spot, has turned into as a hub for artists and the larger neighborhood, she says. “We opened during the pandemic, and everyone told me that a retail business wouldn’t survive,” she says.
“But we didn’t have an art supply store, so I opened one,” she laughs, “we even soft-opened on April Fool’s Day because it felt like the whole thing was a bit of a joke.”
“Vanessa likes to say she runs the business like a feral cat, she knows all the rules, but also knows how to break them. She wants these events to feel very not corporate, not sterile,” says Caroline Van Zeijts, a substitute teacher who lives in Bushwick, who helped America market these singles mixers.
The speed dating events were part of Vanessa’s large series of things-to-do programming, which also include figure drawing, karaoke, trivia, pickling classes and bird walks.
“Originally, these events were a way to get the name out there, but now it’s so much more,” says Van Zeijts.
“We had a couple at our pickling class this week that met at the straight-ish event a few days before,” says America, before starting things off. She looks at the screen of her phone as 6:59 turns into 7:00, lifts up her hands and excitedly shouts, “time to go!” The ticketed RSVPers, who each paid $20 to show up, had started showing up.
There were smiles, introductions and a hopeful air that perhaps maybe some of them would leave with a new pickling partner of their own.
As these locals sat face-to-disco-ball-dappled-face trying to build community, America could be seen carefully screening their body language and facial expressions. She orchestrated the night with the organization and intuition that recalls her former life as a professional matchmaker. “I’m a Virgo sun and Cap rising, if you couldn’t tell,” she says, and I could.
“I’m just so tired of the apps,” said Violet, who lives in Ridgewood and says this was her first speed dating event. “You can only use the same one-liners so many times.” She laughed, as if we were all in on this joke, as if the absurdity of finding love online was self-evident.
“It feels like you’re constantly trying to sell yourself. I don’t even want to do that to find a job.”
Laurel, over from Bushwick, shared the sentiment. “I can’t bring myself to go on dates anymore. I’m only on the apps for [the] matches; I don’t care about meeting in real life,” she said. “But here, you can actually see people when you meet them. It’s innately more engaging… It’s exciting!” Her quick smile made the idea of meeting new people in-person seem thrilling.
When the evening ended, they all shuffled into the bar for one last drink, exchanging laughter, stories, and, perhaps, numbers. Groups of two or three that came among for moral support were now mingling in the larger clusters. “How do you think it went?” I asked Vanessa at the end of the night. “I thought it went well, but what about you? Did you have fun?” she asked.
While the event was being broken down, America started talking about her future of holding these.
“I don’t think [Cassette] is a great fit for us.” she America said, sheepishly.
When I followed up with America about what she meant, she initially deflected, simply saying she felt like management at the small Ridgewood cocktail bar didn’t respect her boundaries when planning the event, but that she didn’t want that included in this story. Then, the next week, Cassette announced that they would be hosting their own straight and queer speed dating series, and I received an email from Vanessa.
“[Cassette] has revealed themselves to be an unethical community partner,” America wrote, “I know I previously mentioned that we shouldn’t mention Sundown (Cassette) in the story, but I’d like to revise that to call out their unethical, community-harming behavior. Our neighborhood and our queer siblings deserve better than this kind of bullying.”
“I don’t own speed dating or any other event, and I don’t normally care if others do events like mine, but this is blatant blueprint stealing, manipulative, and harmful.” She went on, “This is gross, mean, and very un-neighborly. In the 3+ years I’ve been in business, I’ve never experienced anything like this, and I’m in shock.”
In now-deleted comments on Casette’s announcement, Instagram user Gorpmilf, who has been a resident of Ridgewood for the last 10 years wrote, “it is UNETHICAL of this gentrifyer [sic] bar to steal this event… after [Tiny Art Supply] had huge success with this event they wanted to take a bigger cut of the tickets, TAS refused and now [Cassette] is trying to undercut her!”
When asked about the accusations that Cassette tried to appropriate her ticket sales, America said, “after the success of the event, they attempted to take a bigger cut of my ticket sales, wanting to control all ticket sales on their end, using manipulation and gaslighting. When I refused, they posted their own tickets to my event on their website without my consent.”
Naturally, Cassette owners John Ortiz & Jaime Eldredge had their own take on things and wrote via email: “We are surprised and saddened to hear about the negative understanding Tiny Arts has regarding their speed dating events that Cassette agreed to provide the venue space for.
Tiny Arts elected to relocate their events after being informed that our venue is contractually obligated to sell tickets through our ticketing platform, this is standard procedure at every venue. Tiny Arts was offered an extremely fair deal (80% of sales) as we love partnering with and supporting other neighborhood businesses whenever possible. There was never a discussion about Cassette appropriating a higher cut of the sales as shown in our email exchanges which we are happy to share with you.”
Per Ortiz and Eldredge, they did not steal America’s idea, but “found a new organizer with experience in the area hosting speed dating events focusing on queer, gender-non-conforming inclusion.”
For Vanessa, needing to move her event to a different cocktail bar signifies some of the many challenges faced by small businesses in a rapidly changing neighborhood. But, for her, the only way to face those challenges is head-on. “If you have the space, even if it’s not a physical one, you should do something with it for the things you care about,” she says.
Photos taken by Cait Flynn.
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