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Reading List: Crafty Gifts, Bad Movies, and The Roots' Christmas Song

Starbucks to open 1500 more coffee chains

Starbucks to open 1500 more coffee chains

Really Starbucks? 1500 more? I can't walk 6 blocks without running past 2 of you. You need to stop this. I know we hang in the same neighborhoods and enjoy certain blocks more than others, but I think this is going to be too much. Sure, sometimes I'm stuck in the cold and need to use some WiFi, so I'll pop in and buy a venti mocha frap (of course with whipped cream! I don't mess around) and connect... but, please... don't over-think that. I... well, I figured we could move along amicably as acquaintances... y'know, until the whole "brick-through-your-window" incident blew over as nothing more than a hilarious post-adolescent misguided angsty youth thing! No? Well ok, fine. I guess if I have to keep seeing more of you, I can try to adjust my attitude as well... but we need to work on this together... so please stop over-roasting my coffee... and I know you know my name. Let's stop getting petty. [HuffPo]

Brokelyn's Guide to Holiday Craft Markets 

If you've ever wanted to give someone a gift that'll surely say "I Live In Brooklyn!", check out Brokelyn's Guide to Holiday Craft Markets. Their extensive borough-spanning list has you covered with everything from jewelry to vegan baked goods (BROOKLYN!!). Many of the locations feature food and drink vendors, and one specific location has their very own "DIY holiday Photobooth"... so like, a large, festive box you can take a picture in? Sold. [Brokelyn]

Mariah Carey/ The Roots - All I Want For Christmas Is You 

If there was ever a "hip" way to say to "Hey! Check out this cool video of 'All I Want For Christmas Is You'", it'd most likely be: "Hey! Check out this cool video of  'All I Want For Christmas Is You'... it's with The Roots!" On Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, Mariah Carey popped in to sing, and sing she did. Jimmy Fallon decided to look awkward and hit a drum a few times whilst smiling ravenously, and The Roots were great per usual... Oh also, some other guy grabbed a Fisher-Price xylophone on wheels and completely set the (decidedly high) standard for grown men playing Fischer-Price xylophones on wheels. [YouTube]

Somewhat Intimate Photos of Brighton Beach 

The product of a homesick Ukrainian living in Ohio, these photos were taken down by Brooklyn's very own Brighton Beach community. The photographer, Emine Ziyatdinova, submitted the photos as part of her master's thesis at Ohio University and the set features such gems as "Man Getting Uncomfortably Feathered in a Sauna" and "Kid Tries Desperately to Escape Playground". [DailyMail]

Biggest Movie Flops of 2012 

I checked out this list and was -- naturally -- flooded with anger, resentment, and confusion. Namely, because I had no idea what most of these movies were about, and because I saw an image of a giant puppet vacuum cleaner (which I later found out was named J. Edgar... meh) hanging around a bunch of other giant confusing puppets, hanging around a bed, which was outdoors... and there was a fish there... and it was not in a fish tank. Uhh... What? What the hell was I talking about? This list? Right. Other "When did this come out? And what was it about again?" movies included A Thousand Words with Eddie Murphy... I think this was the prequel to Norbit, and People Like Us which starred some actor and child-actor and woman actor who were presumably looking for people like them, but had no such luck. Life lesson learned. Take that Roger Ebert film reviews!

 

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