Dr. Lisa: Let’s Talk About Sex—The Abundance Of It
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The predominating social sexual structure is that women and dudes meet, hookup, move on, and repeat. No hard feelings! Is this kind of readily available sex a good thing? I took to the streets this week to find out how people in Bushwick feel about the dynamics between men and women.
As a pretend therapist I hypothesize that this mostly works great for the appropriately not-ready-to settle-down age group, but I believe that underneath it all there is some defensiveness and fear of rejection. See what people said to me and then weigh in with your own opinion. . . .

The Anonymous Man I asked The Anonymous Man, 25, DJ and party promoter, if he ever gets hung up on any of the girls he hooks up with and ends up wanting to see them again. I seemed to jog his memory and he went through a short list in his head of women he’d been thinking of calling. The way he described it, I imagined little slips of paper scattered around his apartment left by various women. “I feel like if I ask a girl out for drinks, she’s more likely to want to go than if I ask her out for dinner, like dinner is too much of a commitment. I guess I don’t really trust women that much. When I first moved here from upstate, I think I trusted people too much,” he said.
Jeffrey When I asked Jeffrey, 22, about the state of
I asked Jeffrey if he ever feels like he gets hung up on a girl he’s slept with—he said he doesn’t have that problem.
"What happens if a woman gets hung up on you?” I asked.
“I take a step back,” he said. “I’ll wait a few days and maybe see her again. That way she’ll understand that I don’t want to make this such a regular thing and get the message that I'm not looking for a relationship.”
Entrepreneur #1 says, “Take control and be direct.” Entrepreneur #2 strongly advises, “Know what you want going in. Don’t hook up with someone and then later say that you want a relationship. If you want a relationship, then know that. And if you don’t, be clear about that as well." I’d say the message here is speak up!
I'd love to hear your take on this topic. Post your thoughts here or send me an e-mail.
Thanks so much! See you next week.
XO Dr. Lisa
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