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Dr. Lisa: Have You Ever Heard of a Micropenis?

As an advice columnist, I often read other advice columns for inspiration

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As an advice columnist, I often read other advice columns for inspiration.

This week I read one I really had to share.

It’s from Slate.com; the advice columnist there is Emily Joffee or as she calls herself, Dear Prudence. To sum it up if you're too lazy to go to the link, the letter is from a guy with a condition called  “micropenis,” which is a real condition. The guy with the condition is asking Prudence advice about how to “handle” (ha ha) his situation because every time he gets to where he wants to be, the chicks can’t handle it. They say shit like, "Aww, it's so cute!" Prudence/Emily advises the guy to meet a woman on a website where he can be upfront about his, um, condition, so he’ll know that the woman is interested in him in spite of his shortcomings (ha! I’m on fire here!). I have to say, I give this guy a lot of credit for reaching out. He’s probably a very cool guy having to have dealt with all that and doesn’t take the ladies for granted.

I think Emily Prudence gave him pretty good advice. The one thing I would have added is something she didn't address: how to meet and work with women in real life, not on the web. I would encourage him to get to know women who he feels he can trust; to make friends, if you will. He needs to take his time and, once he gets to know them, talk to them directly about his condition before he gets sexually involved with them. I mean, that's great advice for anyone, under any circumstances, if you can swing it. One night stands are completely out for this guy, though. That's just asking for trouble and setting him for more trauma when he becomes vulnerable to an unpredictable stranger.

Why do I bring this up? Sure, it makes for a rocking headline, but it also helps to educate all of us on sexual anomalies. This situation should give you some perspective on your own dating difficulties. Guess what? We all have our own brand of them. Even Taylor Swift. (Bullshit! That's marketing.) You can also find photos of this condition on the web, but you’ll have to look that one up yourself.

 

Dr. Lisa: Analyze my personality through my art with Marty Gordon

The Tower of Babelicious; Artist: Marty Gordon

As I requested last week, someone sent in their art. Marty Gordon was the only person to do this! My self-esteem is in the dumper. Doesn’t anyone besides Marty want their art analyzed? Luckily Marty’s work is good stuff.

Judging from what I see of Marty’s work, it’s obvious he’s got a good sense of humor. He’s also got some issue with religion. I’m guessing he was brought up in a strict Catholic family and as he matured he began to see moral hypocrisy and disrespect for science in the church. I think this disappointed and hurt him. I’m also thinking he may be angry about feeling “tricked” as a child by the church and his parents into believing all this mishegas that turned out not to be true. What’s even more hurtful is that the authority figures in his life still believe in all of that morality bullshit. They think Cro-Magnon man walked the earth at the same time as humans, which we know is absolutely not true whatsoever.

Roddy and Kim Go To Heaven; Artist: Marty Gordon

I wonder how Marty’s sexuality was affected by his religious upbringing. (I know, I’m really going out on a limb here.) It seems to me that his work has a very self-consciously whitewashed sexuality. A sort of wholesomeness with a wink. I’ll bet Marty’s a romantic guy who still likes to keep a bit of mystery around sex, a private-type guy who is likely fun in the bedroom. I had a thought that he might be homosexual or even bi, since it’s hard to be sure about his sexual preferences from the photos and cartoon bubbles. Even the Marilyn Monroe chick has, for this type of thing, pretty small boobs, which is as far as I can tell a conscious choice to not show typical Kate Upton type boobs. There's a certain kind of inhibition, I'd say. It could mean respect for women, ie: they're more than just boobs. Or maybe Marty just feels awkward or indifferent to boobs.

Jesus Go Boom; Artist: Marty Gordon

What I appreciate most about Marty, through my perceived assessment of his work, is that he works out his hurt and disappointment about the church through his sense of humor, which is super healthy. Plus, he must have a balanced ego that allows him to maintain an emotional distance from the church and not take any of it personally. I’ll bet creating this work and balancing himself emotionally through it makes the rest of his life much nicer.

I sent this analysis to Marty, so I'll let you know what I hear back.

Come to this! Friday night, March 15, an improv group, ARTPROV will be doing 6 scenes, each one inspired from a piece of my art work. I present a slide of my work and then they improvise a scene based on that. Sounds fun AND wacky. Info here.

Dr. Lisa, S.P. (Self-Proclaimed) is ready to address any issue about your art, life, job, sex, you name it. She answers all emails and she will post some of her responses right here. Please send emails to: hellodrlisa@gmail.com.

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