By Alexander Robinson 

#1 East River St. Park:

Smaller and objectively less chock-full of over-excited frisbee players than McCarren Park, ERSP offers an unimpeded view of Manhattan, and a somewhat precarious East River… beach-ish shoreline, picturesque with fatigued pilings that will undoubtedly look great with any Instagram filter.

duration: 20 mins

level of excitement: ★

 

 #2 The Creek and The Cave:

Good Food. Cheap drinks. Great free comedy. Every night the Creek offers a slew of great stand-ups, performers, & guided tours Mexican food. Many of the regular comics have been featured on late-night shows such as Conan, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, & that British guy who used to be on The Drew Carey Show! As for eats/potables, they’ll serve up Flautas (hot), Tecates (cold), & 6 draft options (lukewarm?). They also have nightly specials/ a bunch of tequila… so, there’s that.

duration: 26 mins

level of excitement: ★★

 #3 Oceans 8 Pool Hall:

Want to play pool? No? Ping Pong? Nah? Bowling? Air Hockey? NO?! Well then you’re either 1) boring; 2) someone who doesn’t want to be boring but isn’t that good at games and is nervous about practicing because you think your friends will laugh at you, and then Josh will film it on his camera phone and put it on Facebook for everyone to see hasn’t had a really awesome place to practice at. Enter: Oceans 8. Loaded with pool tables and generous prices/portions, this is a great summer spot. The interior is dark, weird, and loud – so coming from Bushwick –  it’ll feel just like home! Check out their happy hour for $2 Coors and $4 Margs from 2-7pm Tuesday-Friday.

duration: 27 mins

level of excitement: ★

#4 Spritzenhaus:

More fun than a roof, and boozier than a church, Spritzenhaus is to beer gardens as Emilio Estevez is to that team of rag-tag, hockey playing youths… an example. I ended up here one time after being kicked out of another bar for playing this weird game where you put a finger on a cup and yell numbers that correspond to how many fingers are on the cup… anyways, it’s unimportant, except for the fact that at Spritzenhaus, people wanted to join our confusingly noisy game! Unfortunately, they didn’t want to play “Buy me food!” as that game’s not real and I’m not that persuasive. Speaking of which, they have a loaded selection of sausage & brats, pizza, and other snacks to complement all their beer. So go sit at communal tables (some are even on the sidewalk outside), play Jenga, eat, drink, then convince someone to buy your tab! or don’t… y’know, it’s your life.

duration: 19 mins

level of excitement: ★★★

 

#5 Ft. Tilden/Jacob Riis Park:

Damn right you can bike to the park named after the myth, the man, the Danish American social reformer, “muckraking” journalist and social documentary photographer… And what a way to pay homage! This is one hell-of-a-ride from Bushwick, but if you crank it out with a friend… (bike joke!) you’ll get to cruise through some of the most considerably characteristic, older-than-your-parents neighborhoods Brooklyn’s created. Also, the bike lane seriously goes about 14 of the 15 miles to the beach, so no ending up on the BQE thinking top yourself: it’s been a pretty good life… I should’ve told my mom I loved her more… Pfft… I could be a bike messenger – No Fear shirt and everything! Here’s a brief route description: it’s basically Bedford all the way down to the coast (and vice-versa). Depending on where you live, you’ll need to get to Bedford (said everyone in Williamsburg to their friends back home) but that is reasonably easy from anywhere is Brooklyn. Once you cross over the bridge, hang a right to go towards Tilden or a left to venture towards Rockaway (why?!). Extra points for a boogie board… TRIPLE RUSH!

duration: 1 hour 13 mins

level of excitement: ★★★★