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Dirty Talk with Margot Berwin: Project Boyfriend

Dear Margot,

Photo via teenormous.com

Dear Margot,

When I met my boy he was cute but had no sense of style. I took him shopping, dressed him better and got him to work out. Now everyone finds him cute—not just me. We go to the pool in Williamsburg and girls constantly check him out. He loves his new look and his new popularity and I’m afraid he’s going to cheat or I’m going to lose him. I’m anxious all time. I think I’ve created a fashion monster.

Dr. Frankenstein

 

Dear Dr.,

I hate to break it to you, but if your boy is going to cheat it doesn’t matter whether he’s wearing Gucci loafers or mandals, Versace or velour. Trolls, dogs, butt ugly, beastial, mangy, ghettified, pimply assed, square-toed shoe wearing, croc owning, donkey faced guys have all been known to cheat if they want to. It’s not what a dude looks like, but what kind of guy he is and what his intentions are, that count.

Now get yourself some, well, self, and stop being so threatened by other women or you're going to give your man the message that you think other women are better than you, and then guess what, he’ll think so too.

Now go out and enjoy the summer with your newly beautified boy! Stick to keeping yourself fabulous, body and mind, and he won’t have any reason to dip into another pool.

Dear Margot,

I met a guy online. We emailed for a bit and then met up in a bar. We had drinks and more drinks and then sex. We’ve gotten together a lot since then but it’s always drinks and sex. He never asks to do anything else. I don’t want to ask him where this is going, this early on, but we’re both thirty and I really want to know. ~What to do in williamsburg

Dear Do,

This one is so easy I won’t even bother putting my margarita down to answer. It’s not 1956, somewhere around the time your mother was born, which is probably where you picked up such an archaic attitude in the first place, it’s 2013-pick up that phone and ask or text or email that guy out on a real date.

Yes, he’s a guy and he’s getting sex and he likes that but who’s to say that he wouldn’t like it with a side of movies, or music, or pole-vaulting, or whatever else you like to do?

My advice? Open your mouth, not your throat, and ask for what you want. Remember, if he says no and it’s really a relationship you’re looking for, there’s a million more like him right under the hood of your laptop!

 

 

 

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