BUSHWICK SAYS…is back. I document lives of Bushwick residents and strangers through random pictures, quotes, stories and anecdotes. This week I encountered self-proclaimed cosmonauts, a dactylic metal-head, and a self-reflective English teacher…from Vietnam.

“I’ve been on a huge science kick lately.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s bad. Fucking with my perceptions. Like, when you look in a mirror. Because of the speed of light, you’re actually seeing yourself, like, a billionth of a second in the past.”

“Huh…”

“Wait for this. If you stuck a mirror one light year away in space and looked at it with a telescope. You’d be seeing the world…two years ago.”

“Okay.”

“Dude, now imagine a mirror, like, 33 million light years away. You could see fuckin’ dinosaurs. DINOSAURS!”

“Damn. Crazy. I’m not good enough at mental math to dispute.”

Pertinent questions of the week:

“Would you rather eat rice every day or noodles every day?” Noodles, obviously.

“Would you rather be trapped atop the tallest skyscraper or at the deepest part of the ocean?” Skyscraper, clearly.

“Say your girlfriend (or boyfriend) and your mother (or father) switch brains. You have to have sex with one of them to switch ’em back. Would you rather fuck your mother (father) or girlfriend (boyfriend)?” The answer’s pretty simple…

If your friend went into a coma in 1990, what’s the first thing you would tell them to explain the world?

I’m NOT low on the totem pole. When I dance, I do the hipster kitty twark…meow

Traipsing around the diaspora cuttlefish settles in tasty, delectable database.

Trading a turtle and biting a hurdle, I fucked both your dog and your mom with a tree.

Those were all dactyls. 

I wish I loved my mother more.

Lessons of the week:

1. Make good choices, Honey.

2. As they say in Vietnam, you eat rice every day, and, when you get sick of rice, you go eat some noodles.

3. Good wood is better than good paint.