In the last moments of poise before the internet music machine squats down and shits out 2013, I’d like to take a look back at three great artists who came up this past year. I’d venture to say they all produced under-appreciated records, but to be honest I’m nauseated by music journalism so probably I’m unqualified to make statements like that or to write about music at all, but hey, I’m just here playing my trumpet. Let’s finish this up before I puke in my lap.
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Green Jellÿ Live in Bushwick December 2012

Hey cool kids! Want the rub on some great new music? Then please click elsewhere because the following words are about Green Jellÿ, the worst fucking band in the world. On the other hand, if you’re someone who’s keen to remember Green Jellÿ as that freaky speck in the crud-mosaic of a childhood that you sucked out of the brightly flashing televised slush of 1990s corporate sponsored child hypnosis, then you might realize, like I did last month in Bushwick, that a raging bald man in his underwear and an army of shitty neon puppet costumes might actually blow your mind.

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XPO 929 in all its black matte glory (all photos by Katarina Hybenova)

What can I say about the re-vamped XPO 929 that I couldn’t say about the former Party Expo?  Well, there’s a chandelier.  And the walls are black!  Matte black. As if everything was covered in gaffer’s tape.  There’s a pool table.  There’s what I would describe as a clear “standing-pod” off to one side, in which you could stand if the mood struck.  But most importantly, there’s large bar running the length of the left wall.  That’s a huge improvement for anyone who visited the old Party Expo in it’s waning prohibition days, a time when patrons were viciously foo-fooed for BYOBing but then fuck it you’ve already bought a six pack of tall cans so like secret frat boys or teens at a Young Life retreat you periodically sneak off to the bathroom to shotgun a can or two.  (more…)